


mostly dead is slightly alive

by Kansas42



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bickering, Canonical Character Death, Cisco Ramon Needs A Hug, Egregious Movie References, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death, vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 01:19:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14201898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kansas42/pseuds/Kansas42
Summary: "Sometimes I feel like if I believe in something hard enough, that'll make it real."Or Cisco refuses to lose anyone else on Team Flash, even if that means turning his vibes up to 11. (Maybe make that 111.)





	mostly dead is slightly alive

**Author's Note:**

> Because after multiple seasons of Cisco being scared of going too far with his powers . . . I kind of wanna see him actually go too far with his powers
> 
> Title comes from The Princess Bride. Fic takes place sometime after "Run, Iris, Run." Spoilers for that episode and any episode prior.

It's a fundamental difference between them: Caitlin runs, while Cisco stays behind.

Sometimes, Caitlin runs without moving. She puts walls up-no, forget that, Caitlin Snow has _always_ had walls, like, 50-foot ones with these big, scary, frosty spikes on top--and _no_ , he's not proud of that particular weather pun.

(Okay, maybe a little.)

She _adds_ walls, is what he's getting at. She makes them taller, thicker, putting more and more emotional distance between herself and the rest of the world. And if that doesn't work, she takes off instead: gets a new job, maybe a wardrobe change. Puts her past in the rearview mirror and tries to start fresh.

Sure, she comes back eventually. But only because Cisco comes begging.

Caitlin always leaves everyone behind, and Cisco can never let anyone go.

#

So. Harry's dead.

HR died. That had been . . . hard, harder than Cisco had expected. For all his aggravating qualities, for all his sheer ridiculousness, HR had stepped up when it counted, and he did it because Cisco had inspired him. Cisco has never inspired anyone before, much less into literal self-sacrifice. He still doesn't know how to even feel about that.

Prime Dr. Wells' death had been hard too, even if he was an evil, time-traveling, literally heart-crushing, all-around dick. Apparently, it hurt to lose a father-figure mentor, even if they did occasionally murder you in other timelines. And Dante . . . that had nearly broken him. That had come so close to breaking him, and it just doesn't matter that other people have lost more; like Barry, Jesus, Barry watched _both_ his parents die, but Cisco . . . he's not Barry; he can't do this, he can't lose anyone else, and Harry--

Caitlin runs. Literally, this time; straight out of the room. Harry's body isn't even cold on the floor yet, and she's just gone. Ralph, too, is already backpedaling, out the door and off to his basement. Probably needs a day or two to indulge in some terrible jokes, a few bad impulses. Maybe endure an Iris West-Allen lecture, and he'll be back on his feet.

Iris is crying. Barry is, too, and they're holding one another, almost shielding one another. Joe and Cecile are standing a few feet away, horrified, squeezing each other's hands. None of them notice or care as Cisco slowly kneels beside Harry's body, hands hovering just over the bloody hole in his chest. It's like they're all frozen in time.

But any second now, the clock's going to start ticking again. Move over, grief: there's a killer meta to find. And there-Cecile's already reaching for her phone. Can't just leave a dead body lying around. Have to call it in. Iris is scrubbing the tears off her face. She's probably about to tell Cisco to triangulate something. And Joe, he'll realize that they need to notify Jesse; she deserves to know what happened to her father. Barry will probably insist it's his duty. No doubt he'll want to give the justice versus revenge speech.

But Cisco isn't ready; he not ready for any of this to be real. He can still fix this. He can. He has to.

He will.

"I'm going to call it in-"

"Cisco, can you get a fix on-"

"We need to tell Jesse-"

"No," Cisco says, grabs Harry's body, and falls through the breach that he creates in the floor.

#

They land in his work room, Cisco and Dead Harry, Mostly Dead Harry. He's still slightly alive on some level, all evidence to the contrary; this isn't "go through his clothes and look for loose change" time. Cisco believes this, and because he believes it, he can make it real.

He just needs a little help to do that.

He already has both the Thinking Cap and his goggles on by the time Barry runs into the room. He can't even imagine how dumb he looks right now, but that's okay. Dignity isn't his speed; case in point: his wet eyes and shaking hands as he resets the safety controls, or really, eliminates them.

"Cisco," Barry says, like he's trying not to startle a spooked animal, which, kind of insulting, but also? Kind of fair. "Hey, man, what are you doing-"

"It's okay," Cisco says because it is, it will be. "I'm going to save him this time."

"Cisco, wait-"

Cisco flips the switch, and the world goes blue.

#

He can see everything. He can see _everything_.

It's . . . it's so much. It's Full-On Vibe Mode, but _more_. It's not just an infinite number of earths he can see; it's an infinite number of timelines stretched out before him, timelines for each earth, for every earth, for earths that are no more. He can see all the things that never happened and all the things that could. He has access to _everything_. It's all right there, waiting for him to find.

_Ramon. Focus_.

Well, of course, his inner buzzkill sounds like Mostly Dead Harry. But hey, MDH is right: he has to focus. He needs to find something, and it's a problem because he has no idea what he's looking for. A shiny new gadget. Some kind of hoodoo magic spell. A mad scientist's syringe full of bright green Re-Animator juice. Without the Thinking Cap, he'd never be able to find it: he can't vibe something if he doesn't know what he's looking for. 

But already the Thinking Cap's teaching him how to widen his field of vision, to Google search general terms instead of needing a direct web address. He can suddenly harness his powers in a way that he never has before, that he didn't even know he was capable of. Maybe this was what Reverb was talking about, when he said Cisco didn't know how powerful he was, that he could be a god if he wanted. Maybe all . . . this . . . was what led Reverb to the Dark Side. That should scare Cisco. He's pretty sure that should scare him.

"Cisco!"

Barry's voice is distant in his ears. Iris is out there, too. Maybe Joe and Cecile. He ignores them, goes back to searching. He will find something. He will because, sure, a cure for death _sounds_ like a lot, but he deals with meta-humans and parallel Earths and time travel on a weekly basis; sometimes, there are even aliens and sentient Speed Forces and reincarnated Egyptian soulmates. It's like he told Caitlin: they are experts on the impossible, and he'll find it; he will-

There.

He outstretches his hand and opens a breach to a secret lab on Earth 44. "Go through it," he says to Barry. "Black briefcase, lower right cabinet. Phase through both, cause if you try to open either, you know. Boom."

"What-"

"Don't get shot by any of the proto-robot Nazi's, either."

"WHAT-"

"Hurry," Cisco says. "Three more minutes, and the injection won't be effective anymore, and I'll have to find another cure."

Barry disappears, running through the breach. Cisco doesn't watch him do this, at least not with his actual eyes-it's just another vibe, one moment in an infinite number of moments stretched out before him. If he wants to, he can see every Barry in every Earth that actually has one: his Barry is speeding past killer robots while E8's Barry is eating waffles and E33's Barry is grieving at a funeral, Joe's funeral. And oh man, E41's Barry has some kind of Flock of Seagulls situation going on with his hair, and it is _not good_ \--

His Barry is back, syringe in hand. 

Cisco seals the breach with a dismissive flick of his wrist as Barry, repeatedly murmuring prayers under his breath, kneels beside Harry's body, inhales, and stabs the syringe straight into Harry's heart.

Nothing. Nothing, and then-

Harry gasps.

Cisco laughs. Then he keeps laughing because he's so relieved he feels a little drunk, giddy and definitely light-headed. It doesn't matter. Harry's back. Harry's _back_. Not awake yet, but he will be in 8-10 hours. His chest wound is already stitching itself back up. All operating systems a go. 

Cisco did that. He found the _cure for death_ -well, the cure for death if the deceased had been dead for less than two hours and still had his head attached and his heart in place, but still. CURE FOR DEATH. He did that. He found that. He can find anything.

He can do anything.

Joe and Cecile are holding hands again, smiling this time, while Barry falls back on the floor in relief. "Thank God. Cisco, you did it."

"Yeah," Cisco says. His lips feel a little numb, hands too, and he thinks he feels blood trickling from his nose. It doesn't matter. "Yeah, I really did."

The silence drags out. 

Barry, slow and cautious in a way he rarely is, repeats, "You did it, Cisco. You can take off the cap."

Cisco smiles. 

"No," he says.

#

He doesn't know how long he loses himself for.

Barry protests for a while. Iris, too-but they don't need him right now, and more importantly, they aren't _interesting_ right now. There's so much more here, so much possibility at his fingertips. He can find a way to stop DeVoe, if he wants to . . . but he doesn't want to; that's kid's stuff, and he's not sitting at the kids table anymore; he's done playing tech support. If he looks hard enough, if he really looks? He can find the answers to every question. P vs NP. Why people think it's okay to eat blood pudding ice cream. How to stop death from taking anyone he loves ever, ever again. If he can see alien worlds on the other side of the universe _in_ another universe, why not the Undiscovered Country, right? Maybe it's a real place. Maybe he can find Dante there.

"Cisco!"

There's a yell and a muffled curse and clank of something hitting the ground-ah, Barry's tried to rip the Thinking Cap right off his head. No dice, Barry; Cisco's already thought of that, pre-programmed some booby-traps to prevent anyone from stealing the cap or messing with the power. The only way this baby is coming off is if Cisco takes it off himself.

Barry did manage to knock Cisco's goggles off his face, but that's fine. Because of the Thinking Cap, Cisco knows how to trigger the fear receptors in his brain without the actual wavelength trigger. He can look straight at Barry and still see anything he wants.

"Cisco." Barry's voice is hushed. "Your eyes."

Cisco tilts his head, glances down at a nearby console. The surface is just shiny enough to make out his reflection: the iris and the pupil have both gone breach-blue. They're mad creepy, actually, or should be. But now they don't bother him anymore than his numb skin or hemorrhaging nose. What does it matter what color his eyes are? What does it matter if he even has eyes?

He can see a timeline Barry never told him about, one where Cisco lost the ability to vibe when he lost his hands. But in this timeline, knowing the things he knows now? Cisco doesn't need his hands. He doesn't need his body at all, could just . . . fade away, lose himself between dimensions. Get sucked under for good. That's supposed to be a bad thing, but the things he'd experience, the things he'd feel?

"Cisco?"

He could exist in every moment throughout time, just like Savitar had planned to.

"Cisco!"

Cut him down, and he'd be more powerful than anyone could even imagine.

"Oh God. Cisco, can you hear me?"

That . . . that isn't Barry.

It's not Joe or Iris, either. Not even Harry, improbably awake eight hours ahead of schedule. But it can't be her because she left, and he hasn't had time to drag her back yet.

"Listen to me. You, you need to wake up. Open your eyes, Cisco; look at me."

When did he close his eyes? It doesn't matter. There's just so _much_ \--

"Cisco! Cisco, WAKE UP!

Cisco opens his eyes. 

There she is. It's Caitlin, not Killer Frost, not even Bartender Caitlin with the short-lived distressed jeans and low-cut tank tops. "Hey. There you are." 

He blinks at her. "Why are you here?"

Caitlin's smile falters. She forces it back into place, but it's obvious she's been crying. "I'm here for you. Where else would I be?"

There are so many other places she ought to be. He can see her: murdering people, getting murdered, trying and failing to bake brownies with Ronnie, working at that skeevy dive bar, working as Amunet's right hand woman, head of the League of Assassins, working as a pediatric ophthalmologist, finding a cure for cancer at Mercury Labs-

"Cisco, stay with me!"

In all the worlds, in all the timelines, is there one where she came back on her own, just for him?

"You have to focus on my voice, okay? Come back, Cisco. Don't . . . don't leave me here alone. Don't go where I can't follow."

Without meaning to, Cisco opens his eyes again. "Are you Samwise Gamgee-ing me right now?

Caitlin laughs. "Hey," she says, wiping at her face. "You're the one who made me watch all those movies. In a row. The extended versions."

He remembers. 11 hours-well, 13, with bathroom and snack breaks, plus one emergency Flash situation that ended up being a false alarm. She complained the whole time, just to rile him. He taught her some Elvish and threw popcorn at her head. She fell asleep for about half an hour during Return of the King, and though he'd never admit it, he briefly drifted off too, his head on her head on his shoulder. He hadn't felt that comfortable or safe in a long time.

"You know," Caitlin says, "I think about all the memories I cherish most, and you're in every single one of them, Cisco."

_Son of a bitch_ , Cisco thinks. _She stole my line_.

"So, I need you to stay here, okay? Because those might be my best memories, but I don't want them to be the only ones we have left. Think of all the movies you can still make me watch. Spiderman 2, right? And you've been trying to get me to see Galaxy Quest for years. I, I can't." Caitlin's voice breaks. "I can't lose you. You're my best friend."

_You're my best friend, too_ , Cisco thinks, but the words never make it past his throat. He feels so disconnected from his body. When he looks down, he sees it's almost translucent, even flickering in place.

"That cap is killing you, Cisco," Caitlin says. "You have to take it off."

It isn't, though. It's letting him be so much more than he's ever been, so much bigger than Cisco Ramon. It's letting him become something better, something else . . .

. . . probably not the kind of thing that can watch movie marathons with his BFF, though.

"Do you hear me? Vibing like this is killing you. It's killing you, and I can't watch you die." Caitlin steps closer and tries to take his hands. Her fingers pass right through his skin at first, but she catches his wrists on the second try. Naturally, her skin is _freezing_.

"Your name is Cisco Ramon," Caitlin says. "This is home, and you belong here with me."

Cisco squeezes her hands back.

"Okay," he says. "But only cause you asked so nice."

He takes the Thinking Cap off. 

Immediately, he's 100% back in his physical body, and it _sucks_. He staggers and Caitlin half-catches him, kneeling with him on the ground.

Behind Caitlin, there's a flurry of grateful sounding noises--right, most of Team Flash is still in the room. It's nice they're happy he's alive and all, but Cisco's nose is still hemorrhaging blood and his head feels like someone put it into the garbage compactor from A New Hope, so all in all, he only has so much energy to spare right now and they're just gonna have to deal, not getting any of it.

He meets Caitlin's eyes. "You know I'm holding you to that Spiderman 2 promise, right?"

She hugs him way too tightly, but he lets it slide. "Should've gotten it in writing."

"That's cold," he says, and grins when she hits him on the shoulder, pulling back just enough that he can meet her eyes. "Hey. You found me."

"Well, it was my turn."

Cisco nods, which is just such an awful idea. Seriously, what a terrible idea.

"Thanks," he says, and then promptly passes out.

#

He doesn't dream, or if he does, he doesn't remember. He's just suddenly awake, a throbbing pain in his leg because some total dick threw a red rubber ball at him.

" _Ow_ ," Cisco says, glaring at Harry who's sitting up on the medical bay bed next to Cisco's.

"Ramon," Harry says. "You're an idiot."

"Well, that's gratitude for you."

"Oh, gratitude, that's what you want?"

"Well, it wouldn't hurt."

"I'm sorry, Ramon. Thank you, thank you for needlessly endangering your life on that ridiculous charade of a plan-"

"Uh, that plan worked?"

" _You_ probably have brain damage; the _intelligence booster_ is probably destroyed-"

"Okay, I do not-"

"And you said _I_ was reckless, _I_ was going to go all Locutus of Borg, blah, blah, blah, and then YOU-"

"I had to save you!" Cisco yells. "Okay? I had to, so just. Deal with it."

Harry stares at him with that look on his face he gets sometimes, like he's having complex human emotions and he doesn't understand why they're happening to someone like him. "You're an idiot," he repeats finally, a little more softly. "And keep your voice down. You'll wake Snow."

Cisco turns and sees Caitlin balled up in a chair on the other side of his bed. Girl has to be seriously exhausted to sleep through one of their arguments; either that, or she's just faking it to give them the illusion of privacy. He lowers his voice either way.

"You know what? Even though that thank you wasn't sincere, like, at all, I'm going to let it go-"

"Good-"

"Cause I know that when you say 'You're an idiot,' what you really mean is 'I love you."

"I do _not_ love you--"

"Oh, you love me-"

"I don't even like you-"

"You can admit it, Harry. You were all worried-"

"I was worried about my Thinking Cap-"

"Ha! You called it a Thinking Cap!"

" _Ramon_ -"

"Boys," Caitlin says sleepily, shifting in her chair without opening her eyes. "Bedtime."

"See," Cisco says, pointing at Harry. "It's a thing."

Harry waves an irritated hand at him and slumps back down on the bed. Did he even get The Princess Bride reference? Does Earth 2 even have The Princess Bride?

Oh, man, they need to start instituting Team Flash Movie Nights immediately. The knowledge he has to pass down, the movies he has to share.

Cisco smiles to himself and falls back asleep.

 

-FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Comments give me life!


End file.
